“Mine Pain of Existence”

By: Sebastciaun

Thine own Soul,

 Is thine only piece I have found my peace.

That which kept and saves mine own face inside mine own hell of terrors reign.

For in mind,

Thine own infectious dousing rain!

The subtle infraction upon the lifeless brow upon thy eye!

The stirring force,

A mindless interaction I have seen.

The deaf ear I have heard!

Precarious, I find a mystery in mine daze of counting.

The arrogant steps I take,

the ignorance of breath I make,

the broken love I forever forsake!

When shall it be that mine own hell shall find its end?

Climbing the rungs of a ladder towards another hell,

Forsaking innocent Ones in my path,

 all is seeking of thine foolish pride.

The cadence of my fading radiance,

 Leaving a scent that hints of my own souls death.

The motionless persistence and those that remain in a looped state,

Oh!   Thine minding and pride filled hate!

Leading that which way is of in no way mind to know,

Never shall I express in an array of explicit form what words shall never suppress or adorn.

The lack of true and real affection,

 has left my mind and heart.

This forever soulless state of thine own hate.!

To pain another picture so wide you shall forever know!

It will always be I that is to curse and blame.

I, the beholder of mine own pious plot and player’s folly.

I am that one deceitful soul to blame in this endless Lovers game.

Impure, I wilt.

In vanity I sway and tilt all the more to stain my blackening heart!

All this takes my world another step up the ladder towards the leading rung of mine abyss.!

Inside, I find thine heaven!

I have found Hell!

I have found no other love to seek but the one I forever lost!

Many have laid their swaddled cloth beside mine door,

Many have left the way in which it was they had to come.

Never once did they seek.

Never once did they blink.

Never once did they think!

Never did they take the time to know it is.

I, who stop, I, who never understands, I, am why!

I stopped the possibility of thine lovers dance!

To them they were to never know,

Why it is in my childish fear,

I whisper in their deaf ears.

In mine Love why I shed a tear,

As I lay trembling in mine own fiery bed fear!

A shot of pain,

A sound of sorrow the echoes they can hear.

Their mind at awe but never begin the comprehension.

 The shattered particles I am to never make any excuse or amends.

An equation of logic that denies mine own reason.

Even as seasons come and even as they go,

My heart is torn further from my pain and from my pleasure.

Inside my love!!

How to explain the fury of mine heartless wrath?!

How to explain the weary and tiring eyes,

My death tempting fares are empty and parted dares?

How to explain my loss?

How to explain my love?

How to render a pain upon pleasure in this life that is nothing less,

More and more times,

 I find mine self guilty with living!

I have become mine own pain of existence?!!

Love;

Sebastciaun T. Censtcuriaus